You did NOT wake up like that...

I hate liars. I can't help it, I'm a truth-teller. Even when it's awkward and it might get me in trouble, or the people around me are clearly thinking, "Seriously...just fib a little...shit's getting a lil too real." Apparently being a little liar-face when I was 7 and getting grounded every other week for dishonesty took its toll (pointless lies too...sorry 3rd grade class, I was NOT born in Germany). Perhaps this is why I hate the hashtag 'I woke up like this'...but most likely it's just irritating.

First of all, no. No, you didn't just 'wake up like this'. You know how I know this? Because NO ONE looks good when they just woke up unless they're a baby or Charlie Hunnam (I can't imagine that he ever looks anything besides scrumptious, regardless of time of day). A photo taken immediately upon waking is not for the faint of heart. Pure, unadulterated bedhead and sleepy eyes can make a grown man cry. This. This is what it looks like when you 'woke up like this':

There are two groups of people who use this hashtag. The first group consists of girls who are *apparently* about to walk the red carpet. I get it. It's supposed to be ironic. I can't put my finger on why it drives me insane to see their bejeweled faces next to #iwokeuplikethis. Because OBVIOUSLY they didn't. But seeing ruby red lips, smokey eyelids, and lush curls falling in perfect spirals is only natural if you're routinely assaulted by Maybelline in your sleep.

The second group of girls who use this hashtag are the ones that really get my goat. They don't put on an obscene amount of makeup or have their hair super fancy, their appearance is just subtle enough to make you feel like the ugliest clownfish in the natural sea- 'Do other people really wake up like that?!' Up until this new trend I'd assumed.most people look like they've just survived a hostage situation in the morning.

So seriously. Stop with the lies. Kthnx.